From: greywolf@tomcat.vas.viewlogic.com 
Subject: Bible: Lost In The Translation
Date: Wed, 23 Aug 95 19:30:03 EDT


{ Some of this is as told to me by a friend who got it from somewhere off TV;
  the rest is original.  You get to figure out which is which. }

They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the first
scroll  of  the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the actual "first
page" of the Bible.  When deciphered, it read:

   "Copyright (c) 300 B.C.  God.  All Rights Reserved
    First scrawling First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone- Is-Shadowed, 300
    B.C.

    All beings, places and events depicted in this work  are  fictional,  and
    any  resemblance  to  actual  beings,  places and events past, present or
    future is purely coincidental.

    WARNING:  Some of the actions performed in this work  are  dangerous  and
    should  only  be  attempted  by professionals familiar with the action in
    question.

    NOTE:  Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark are called
    'stars'.   Some of them do blow up on occasion.  In no way should this be
    construed as a sign that there is, beneath such an explosion, any form of
    saviour.   Should such a misconstrual happen, the author will not be held
    responsible   for   the   avalanche   of   arrogance,   zeal,    bigotry,
    humanocentricity  and  other  vile  acts  which  will  surely  follow the
    residents of the planet into time eternal until someone sees fit to erase
    the denizens of the world and let the author start over.

    DSBN 0-000000-0000-1

    Suggested retail:  1 sheep."

--
Selected by Jim Griffith.  MAIL your joke to funny@clari.net.
The "executive moderator" is Brad Templeton.

Please!  No copyrighted stuff.  Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,
Clinton/Yeltsin/Gates meets God, or "OJ will walk" jokes.

Administrative note:

Brad Templeton will be doing a signing of the new rec.humor.funny book,
titled "The Internet Jokebook" at Borders Books in Milpitas California,
7:30 pm, Friday Aug 25. (Book info is at http://www.clari.net/inetjoke.html)