From in1.uu.net!xenitec!looking!funny-request Tue, 2 Jan 96 4:30:21 EST Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: Johlt@aol.com Subject: The Chain Letter of St. Paul Keywords: chuckle, offense=Christians Approved: funny-request@clari.net Path: in1.uu.net!xenitec!looking!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Tue, 2 Jan 96 4:30:21 EST Lines: 49 Received this as a mailing from the Old Catholic mailing list: THE CHAIN LETTER OF PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE CORINTHIANS _________________________________________________________________ The Chain Letter of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians. WITH CHARITY ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. This epistle comes to you from Philippi. Grace be to you and peace. Spiritual gifts will be delivered unto you within four days of receiving this letter -- providing you in turn send it on. 2. This is no joke. Send copies to whomsoever among the gentiles or superstituous peoples of other denominations you would comfort in all their tribulation. Do not send material things. Charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. 3. While visiting the Household of Stephanas, a Macedonian proconsul received the epistle and was greeted by his brethren by a holy kiss. But he broke the chain, and now he is become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. 4. Gaius bestowed all his goods to feed the poor, and gave his body to be burned, but it profited him nothing. He failed to circulate the letter. However, before his death, he received the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. 5. Do note the following: Crispius had the gift of prophecy, and understood all mysteries, and all knowledge, and had all faith, so that he could remove mountains. But he forgot that the epistle had to leave his hands within 96 hours, and now he is nothing. 6. In A.D. 37, the epistle was received by a young Galatian woman who put it aside to copy and send out later. She was plagued by various problems: thrice she was beaten with rods, once she was stoned, and thrice suffered shipwreck. On the last day of these occasions, she spent a night and day in the deep. Finally, she copied the letter. A trumpet sounded, and she was raised incorruptible. 7. Remember: Believeth all things, hopeth all things. The chain never faileth. St. Paul --- Addendum: The recent joke "The Chain Letter of St. Paul" was apparently taken from _The Book of Sequels_, edited by Christopher Cerf and Henry Beard. The full title of the work is "The Chain Letter of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians". My thanks to Jan Nielsen for pointing this out to me. It is *very* important that you attribute all submissions correctly! - ed. -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@clari.net. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Send comments meant for the moderator to funny-request@clari.net. Jokes sent to this address will be ignored.