JC's Musical Dictionary
A patella
Unaccompanied knee-slapping.
Adagio fromaggio
To play in a slow and cheesy manner.
Aleatoric Music
Music composed by the random selection of pitches and rhythms. Frequently found in the choir anthem.
Antiphonal
Leaving your answering machine on all the time.
Antiphonal
Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert hall.
Appologgiatura
An ornament you regret after playing it.
Approximatura
A series of notes played by a performer and not intended by the composer, especially when disguised with an air of "I meant to do that."
Approximento
A musical entrance that is somewhat close to the correct pitch.
Augmentation
Special surgery for altos involving the implantation of falsettos.
Basso Continuo
When the director can't get them to stop.
Castrato
The highest male voice (some alteration required).
Concerto Grosso
An accordion concert.
Contralto
An alto who has been convicted.
D.C. al capone
You betta go back to the beginning, capiche?
Diminuendo
The process of quieting a rumor in the orchestra pit. Perhaps the most difficult dynamic in music.
Dominant
In a choral relationship, usually the alto.
Glissando
What directly precedes the highest note of a descant.
Grand Pause
When the conductor loses his place.
Kvetchendo
Gradually getting annoyingly louder.
Leitmotif
Like a regular motif, but less filling.
Molto bolto
Head straight for the ending, but don't make it seem rushed.
Perfect Pitch
Throwing a banjo in the dumpster without hitting the sides.
Polychoral Motet
Six parrots singing "Exultate Justi"
Riff
What happens when someone takes your choir robe.
Rondo
A popular sixties song as in 'Help, help me, Rondo.'
Score
Basses 3, Tenors 0.
Spritzicato
Plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright, bubbly sound, like sparkling water.
Tempo tantrum
What an orchestra is having when it's not keeping time with the conductor.
Tonic
What is generally enjoyed over ice after choir rehearsal.
Vesuvioso
A gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion.